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Kenneth Quilltail KC

Known for his unwavering commitment to procedural elegance and the Oxford comma, Quilltail rose to prominence after successfully cross-examining an entire government strategy document. Responsible for Intra-Department Coherence, he is determined to unify departments using annotated briefings, coloured string, and fierce eye contact.“True unity of thought begins not with agreement, but with the careful arrangement of disagreement in alphabetical order.”

Sir Ambrose Jett

A Senior Advisor for Implementation Readiness, with a career spent preparing good ideas to meet reality, Sir Ambrose is known for his pragmatic optimism. He chairs the Ministry’s “Actionability Board,” a cross-functional group that translates enthusiasm into executable plans - or at least plausible diagrams. His presence signals that something might finally happen.“A well-prepared idea is halfway to being misunderstood successfully.”

Dr. Imani Coppersmith, OBE

Deputy Minister for Coherent Strategy VisualisationDr. Coppersmith believes that complex plans deserve clear presentation. Her “Shared Vision Mapping” model has helped multiple departments realise they were working toward the same goals — just upside down and backwards. She leads workshops in policy visualisation and collaborative misalignment reduction.
“When people can see the big picture, they’re more likely to walk into it.”

Business Liaison for Enterprise Networking & Dialogue

B.L.E.N.D. is a groundbreaking initiative designed to bring small and medium-sized enterprises together in the same room — or at least in adjacent video calls. Through a series of structured roundtable dialogues, unstructured breakout chats, and structurally ambiguous feedback forms, B.L.E.N.D. fosters the illusion of coordinated economic momentum. Participating businesses gain access to shared buzzwords, overlapping action plans, and the possibility of mutual alignment over lunch.
“Working together, actually together.”

Strategic Partnership for the Redistribution of Executive Administrative Duties

S.P.R.E.A.D. is a forward-thinking initiative designed to promote dynamic responsibility-sharing across the civil service. By rotating administrative oversight through a flexible delegation matrix, the programme encourages agility, adaptability, and mutual unfamiliarity. Its innovative approach to cross-functional ambiguity fosters resilience and empowers departments to lead collaboratively — often at the same time.

Central Liaison Unit for Tactical Task Execution & Reporting

C.L.U.T.T.E.R. brings unity to complexity by expertly managing the flow of internal communications, operational updates, and layered briefings. Developed as part of the Ministry’s Harmonised Coordination Drive, it ensures that information moves rapidly, if unpredictably, across all departments. With 12 real-time dashboards offering unique perspectives, C.L.U.T.T.E.R. exemplifies our commitment to transparency — from every possible angle."Centralised thinking through distributed awareness."

Kenneth Quilltail calls for orderly overtaking

At the annual Joined-Up Thinking Summit, Minister Quilltail outlined his bold vision for "a government that doesn't just connect dots — it questions whether the dots are necessary." His speech was followed by a panel discussion and a departmental memo.

Ministry celebrates near consensus on lunch plans

After 14 days of strategic dialogue, representatives from seven departments reached a tentative agreement to consider sandwiches. A white paper titled "Towards a Unified Baguette Framework" is now in pre-drafting.

Joined up thinking taskforce meets for first time since forming

After an initial meeting lasting nearly three hours, the Taskforce on Strategic Alignment has concluded that further meetings are required before they can agree on what they met about. Early progress includes the establishment of a sub-committee on the use of bullet points and the commissioning of a theme tune.

Government apologises for accidental policy overlap after discovering own website error

Officials at the Ministry of Joined-Up Thinking have issued a formal apology after discovering that two contradictory policies were published simultaneously — one in the ‘Initiatives’ section and one in the ‘Archived Initiatives (Still Technically Active)’ section. The error was blamed on “an unfortunate case of internal awareness.”